dancing warrior

Pike Place

2009-10-02T05:08:00.000-07:00

Mark your calendars

2008-11-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

The next presidential election will be here before you know it. Be sure to block some time on Tuesday, November 6th, 2012 to cast your vote.

Ang & Sam, 'Love you both.

Who to Vote for...

2008-10-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

I am cautiously sending a request for information. I feel like I should vote. I am not sure who to vote for. I know I have a lot of friends who have a lot of strong political opinions.

I would love to hear who you are voting for (feel free to comment anonymously) and why you are voting that way.

I really would like to know what you think. Also, please remember to be kind.

G#d Da%# Piece of Work Continues

2008-10-03T05:30:00.001-07:00

So, the night while I was blogging about our experience with the couple in Key West I was also having a challenging night from a parenting perspective. Since then, I have begun to think more about the situation. I started picturing what that man who yelled at his wife must have been thinking. He may have been scared they would lose each other in the crowd. He probably felt out of control of the situation. He may have been frustrated because she asked him stick with her, so she didn't get lost and he wasn't doing a good job of it - he was shirking his responsibility. He may even have been scared she would get hit by one of Key West's Tourist Trolleys....Who knows? As I think of the times when I "Lose It." The pattern seems quite similar:

I am scared my kids are going to end up in a situation where they may get hurt. I feel like we've shifted from control to authority and I wonder if it's been a successful transition. I feel out of control. I feel responsible. I feel an overall frustration.

Regardless, I still don't want to be the raving lunatic & even if I wanted to be that...its effectiveness is nil. So, what's a mom to do? I guess I have to begin by knowing that frustrating situations are a part of parenting (no big revelation there). My girls are a gift from God. My girls are becoming who God has created them to be - just as he is creating me to be who he created me to be. And just as it is my role to help 'adjust' their behavior, it is also my role to allow God to adjust mine. So I continue on.

I try to get my own personal feelings out of the way as much as I can to allow myself to hear God's words for my girls and act on it. I also partner together with other parents who can help me see how awesome my kids are. We all need people to help lift our eyes out of the immediate situation and see the bigger picture - whether it's parenting, work, life, marriage, ______________...

I pray all of us would find those "Eye Raising" friendships.

Sacred Monday

2008-09-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

"Conversation requires talking and listening. As I talk to Jesus may I also learn to be still and listen. I picture the gentleness in his eyes and the smile full of love as he gazes on me. I can be totally honest with Jesus as I tell him of my worries and my cares. I will open up my heart to him as I tell him of my fears and my doubts. I will ask him to help me to place myself fully in his care, to abandon myself to him, knowing that he always wants what is best for me."

I found these words at Sacred Space today. What an unbelievable gift to know that we are loved by someone who is all loving, all knowing, all peace. And we have the freedom to just come. No acting, no trying to be better than we are. We just come & God meets us - regardless of whether we even totally believe he exists. Amazing.

God, help me see your face is the prayer I continue to pray. He has never neglected to show himself. He continues to amaze.

"G#d Da%# Piece of Work"

2008-09-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

"You are a G#d DA%# Piece of Work" Those are the words we heard some angry husband say to his wife on this very corner. You may or may not be familiar with this corner. It is located in Key West, Florida - one of my favorite places on the planet. It is the kind of place where everything seems a little better. It's a place where it would seem impossible to be in a bad mood.

In Key West you will find sunsets like this (on a regular basis), so Steve and I were surprised to hear such anger. Do you know why he was angry? Because his wife crossed the road and he didn't have time to follow her. He had to stay put and wait for the traffic! We watched this little exchange over a decade ago now, but it is still etched in our brains. Sometimes we joke about it. Sometimes we feel sorry for the couple. Mostly we remind each other that we don't want to be that couple - EVER! NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES!

Are we entitled to happiness? I think no. But I do think we have the choice every minute of every day. We can either wallow or we can celebrate the good and be at peace in the rest.

Steve and I were able to spend some time together today. It was one of those precious days, ya know? On our drive we were listening to a little James Taylor. Steve asked me what song of his is my favorite, and I remembered this song that I had TOTALLY forgotten about. Secret 'O Life. This is a great version of it. Enjoy.

Preachers are Perfect ??

2008-09-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

There was a time when I though all preachers were perfect; I thought I could look at a preacher and consistently see Christ.

I now know that no matter the title, NO ONE IS PERFECT. Every set of eyes I see is struggling with something. We all have issues. We all struggle with some type of voice from satan speaking lies into our soul.

At some point I moved from seeing perfection to being overwhelmed with criticism and focusing in on the hypocrisies. There was a time when I trusted no one.

The season I am currently walking through is a season of tentative hope. I see potential in people. I see God's Kingdom coming. And I see myself as a fellow-traveller on the journey. It is not my job to judge. It is not my job to fix everyone's problems.

God has called me to love. God has called me to align myself with him...in my lifestyle...in my home...as I interact with those who are following him and those who are not.

I appreciate what the apostle Paul has to say about weaknesses in 2 Corinthians 12.9-10

God says,

"My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness."

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Does this mean we all say 'screw it' and wallow in our failures? Of course not. It means that - just as we take the burden of a sick or hurting friend to the foot of the cross - we also take our weakness. We offer it. We allow God to use it. We allow his Kingdom to come into our mess.

Isn't it amazing that he wants all of us?

true randomness-please don't look for substance

2008-08-20T15:46:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life that make me laugh. I laugh when I see someone get startled...which is so goofy because I HATE being startled! I laugh at 'the office.' Michael Scott is my favorite tv character. It's so uncomfortable, so funny. My husband Steve makes me laugh. Most people have no idea what a goofball he is. It's one of the things I love about him! My girls make me laugh. They inherited the goofball gene from Steve.

I had a bible study today. We talked about needing God. We talked about the times in our lives when we realized that we TRULY NEEDED God - not for some end-time salvation plan, but needed him - get through the day - needed him. I'll never forget when it first happened for me. It was not all that long ago. Bradenton, Florida...not a lot of laughing going on those days. We were adjusting to illness, a new home, new schools for the girls, money stress, loneliness, no church (building or otherwise). I came to a place of sheer desperation - the kind of desperation that can't be manufactured. It just emerges in waves.

And I'll never forget the unmistakable sense of 'someone-ness.' I knew God was there. Sometimes more clearly than others and always when I was at the end of my own means. I wonder why that is...that he is so clearly present in immense difficulty. I want to foster the 'need for God reality' each day. Can it be done?

I am beginning to learn things about following Christ that I never saw before. I grew up under the mantra of a "personal relationship" with Christ. Now I see it that it cannot survive if it is merely personal. And maybe it was never meant to be just me and God against the world. Then again, if I never have those times where I wouldn't make it through without him - if I always fill in the space with other people - will I learn that he meets my every need?

Random and not really going anywhere, I realize that. That's just where I am today.

Friendship Calendar

2008-06-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

Friendship Calendar of Events

Happy Anniversary, Steve

2007-12-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Anniversary, Steve! I can't believe it's been 17 years.

You're my best friend. You make me laugh more than anyone in the world. I love to travel with you and I love to stay home with you. I love to dream about the future and I love to pursue our dreams together. You know my heart and you handle it with great care. You are the best!

I love you!

$3 latte

2007-09-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

So I talked to a girlfriend of mine last night. She spent a month this summer in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. She and her husband had the opportunity to meet the children they sponsor with finances that help clothe, feed and educate. It was an unbelievable, life-changing trip.

She tells me that nurses in Nicaragua make about $3.00/12 hour shift.

I thought of that as I paid more than $3.00 for my vanilla latte this morning.

Something's messed up & I think it's me.

I see heaven through my dad

2007-09-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

Learning to face life honestly is one of the most beautiful things I have learned from my dad. He has the ability to face whatever circumstances life throws at him with the most honest, God honoring perspective. Some would say he is a pie in the sky optimist. But if you live closely to him, you know that he struggles just like anyone else in the world. The difference is that he takes all his honest, sometimes gut-wrenching feelings and circumstances to God first - he writes, he prays, he seeks. And he doesn't stop until God leads. That optimism you see is an utter dependence on the Creator of the Universe.

I love my dad. And I appreciate the aspects of heaven he has taught me.

Thanks, Dad, for being you and for sharing yourself with me and so many others.

questions

2007-08-13T06:51:00.001-07:00

I think I could fill a journal this morning with all the questions I have (and have actually filled quite a few pages - at some point you just have to stop). It's
reminiscent of my college days. I was riddled with questions that seem to go nowhere and seemed to keep me in a constant state of unsettledness.

Thanks to God's grace, Jesus' sacrifice, and the Holy Spirit's presence many of those old questions no longer haunt me. I do, however, have new set of questions. And I'd be lying if I said I am feeling settled.

Foremost in my mind are these: What does it look like to live missionally in a small town? Is it too ambitious &/or wrong to use a business? How can I be sure my motives are pure? Is it right to move forward no matter who is on board or not? How drastic of a lifestyle change is God leading us to? Who exactly are we called to minister to? How do we find out? Is it foolhardy to jump in? By not jumping in, do we risk God lessening the desire?

I guess I go back to what I know...I know that we are called to recognize Jesus in the everyday...That he has given us the privilege and responsibility of partnering with him in restoration of the world. Caring for the hurting is key. Love above all else is what He requires. He is in control and his timing is perfect. It is more about 'being' in his presence right now than it is about 'doing' his work. I'm not running away from the possibilities (not sure what that means, but it is something I know).

I've never been a patient person.

today's quote

2007-08-07T13:36:00.001-07:00

“I know of no great men except those who have rendered great service to the human race.”

- Voltaire [Francois Marie Arouet] (1694-1778)
writer, philosopher

Rendering great service...that is where Steve and I are seeking God right now. What service, what need is he asking us to meet?

I have this anticipation, excitement, anxiety that continues to fill my gut. I know God is leading us. I have pondered possibilities that a year ago would have seemed ridiculous. It's freaky what happens when you ask God to allow you to see the poor, lonely and disadvantaged as he sees them. It's inescapable. It's haunting. And you just want to be a part of something.

As I read Acts 1 today, I see that the disciples felt the need to replace Judas after Jesus ascended into heaven. I'm not sure why they felt the number needed to be 12. But for today I will follow their lead. I am praying for 10 additional people that God may be leading to be involved in this 'whatever it is.' It's not really even the kind of thing I can invite someone to be a part of at this point. It's so nebulous. Maybe that's God's plan. I know he's been working in me in surprising ways.

My over-reaction to that silly, lonely turtle yesterday was a confirmation to me that loneliness wrecks me. I want everyone to be connected in real, loving friendships. We often learn our worth through those that love us, so who will show the unloved their worth?

stories of life

2007-07-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

You know, Jesus told so many stories. He was always going on about this seed or that widow or those branches. I sometimes wonder if we have lost the art of story telling in our lives.

Who do you know that is a master story-teller? What can we learn from him or her? Are we just too stinkin' busy to take time for the story of our lives? Or would we rather borrow a story from the latest tv hit or movie? I don't know. Maybe loss of story is a casualty of American life and the pursuit of the American Dream. Sad.

Should our stories be told? Who can show us how to tell our stories??

dogs and water

2007-06-29T15:48:00.000-07:00

I should be packing. I should be folding clothes. I should be cleaning off the dining room table. I should be getting the car ready for our trip tomorrow. All these things still to do in a week that seems to have flown right past me.

I just want to take a minute and journal what I fell asleep thinking about last night, woke up thinking about this morning, but in the busyness of this day already seems distant.

We set out to find some hungry people last night. Bought our grill, 50 dogs, 50 bottles of water. We stood in the parking lot of Walmart - the beginning of our adventure. Who knew a little propane grill could have so many pieces!

When the grill was finally assembled, we made the most logical call one would make prior to heading to a downtown to seek out homeless people, we called and invited the Negrons. Of course, they were ready to go when we picked them up 10 minutes later.

We first checked under the Market St. Bridge. The officer there said we might find 3 or 4 homeless people near the post office. We drove around, but didn't really see anyone. I was beginning to think the evening might just turn out to be a good time with Efrain and Lisa.

We finally ended up in front of the Rescue Mission and had the privilege of serving dogs and water to a boat load of men, women and children. Some were residents of the mission, some lived near by. And we had a blast. Efrain proclaimed God's love (like only he can), Steve kept things moving along, Lisa made sure no hot dog left the grill before it's time, and I parked myself in a place where I could just visit. It was cool, very cool. I was able to hear how God has used the Rescue Mission to literally rescue several men. I got to meet some beautiful kids and moms. I can't wait to go back.

God, keep those faces embedded in my mind.

Be Near

2007-06-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

"Be Near. Be near, O God of me. Your nearness to me is my good."

Breathe in, Breathe out.

You are a good God. All the time you are good.

Desperation within, need overwhelms.

Be Near, O God.

Negativity

2007-05-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

Dealing with negativity in a godly way is my struggle. There are some people in my life that are so overwhelmingly negative. I don't even know how to respond. My normal, hopeful approach seems to sink under the table and pale to all the blahhhhh.

I overheard a woman talking about her daughter. At age 47 she began experiencing pain. Within a year, she was completely paralyzed and now this former school principal is bed bound and living in a nursing home. Since her illness, she has gained her master's degree. Not even paralysis and pain could hold her back.

How does one reconcile that? Why are some able to push through in adversity and some seem to enjoy the helplessness?

surrogate

2007-04-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was a surrogate mom. Not a physical surrogate, more of an emotional surrogate. My girlfriend just found out today that her little girl is getting married. It's amazing news that you'd share with your mom. What grandma wouldn't beam at the news? Unfortunately, this grandma died of cancer 14 months ago.

I'm honored to sit in. It's what friends do. I know it's not the same & she knows it's not the same. Still, I'm honored.

hoops

2007-04-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, so far no one has appreciated my idea. But in the name of authenticity, can't we (who serve God in an organized church setting) name things for what they are? Here's what I mean...

In our fellowship, one of the responsibilities I have is to help facilitate the formation of life-giving, God-honoring friendship. Sometimes those friendships happen organically - a couple people both have on steeler's jerseys, strike up a conversation, go out for coffee, then end up helping to raise each others kids.

Of course, this is what we want to have happen all the time. But it doesn't always work that way. In the church we set up 'gatherings' that we hope will result in friendships. We have a connection lunch, a party, a picnic, a class...they are hoops. I know it's a hoop. You know it's a hoop. All God's children know it's a hoop. But that's ok. Sometimes we recognize a lack in our lives (lack of friendship, lack of fun, lack of a good pick up volleyball game, lack of knowledge of something we care about), so we jump through a hoop. We go to the connection lunch. We attend the party. We go to the picnic. We sign up for the class.

Unless we are ready to do away with the hoops once and for all (which I may be in favor of), I think the best thing we can do is celebrate them for what they are and let them be.

Life is full of hoops. Jump the ones that suit you.